Days are passing by like dried leaves dropping from a tree that used to be so green, a tree that once full of life where fruits are so tasty and full of flavors. My memory of sky that once so blue starts to fade its hue and awaits for gray to fill up the whole space as I prep up my thing to get ready for work. “This path that I’m taking used to be filled with positive sights and music inside my mind”, I murmured as I walk so slowly towards the place that I once I can’t wait to start or spend my Monday. Things are so different approximately 5 years ago, this place was once full of life where I, can still remember that 1st day I was accepted to be one of them. I was full of excitement, an energy that can last till the end of the day, and a happy feeling where I can’t stop thinking about how can I make myself to perform better the next day. I thought I will spend most of my time here, till the time that I decided to stay home and spend whatever time that will be left in me, maybe sharing how good and professional I am when I was young to those who want to hear it… perhaps the young once who wants to hear something that will inspire them to have the strength to face the corporate world.
It feels like I’m dragging a ball and chain every time I take a step going to work, or stabbing myself every time I start my shift. I can’t see mates that once close to me, those comrades that made the workload so light even if it’s not, those persons who yell “we can do it”, or sometimes, it’s me who’s yelling it whenever they need it too. I used to hear “let’s kill the queue! “ Or “We can push it!” back then, phrases that can make the rest of the shift so epic after we hear it; where are those people? Where are they now? Where are the people who spent most of their life-giving their best service to make the team strong? These are the questions that I’m still asking myself though I know that they’re gone, still trying to deny the fact that they’re already gone or they already gave up. Others say “They found a greener pasture that’s why they left” and I reply ”that b**sht!” since my logic dictates that people who spent most of their youth providing an excellent service will not look for a greener one if the shepherd took really good care of them; they should have left when they saw that they grasses are isn’t green enough the 1st time, but no, they stick through the winter because they’re positive enough to see that it will turn green again when summer comes starts to pop out of my mind. They told me to leave with them but I didn’t listen since I’m still considering things like maybe there are still things that I need to see and take a closer look at before making a decision.
I apologize if I can’t finish this content and the structure or the message is too vague, maybe I can’t do it anymore. I can see people who do trash and people who work their asses so hard and hoping that they can be rewarded but can’t have it. I can see those people that are being demotivated because of the people who do trash took advantage of the shepherds because they found a way to manipulate them. I still believe that the shepherds knew what they’re doing but tired enough to see it because of too much workload or stress. I’m not clear on what I’m trying to write here but I just wanted to release this.