I’m so confused about what decision to make, I’m looking for a sign to make myself feel better and so I randomly browsed the bible and it showed something like this,
“When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, “What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!” So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him.”
And I got surprised, “so maybe it’s time,” I said quietly inside my mind. I don’t understand why I can’t make any decision that will make leave and start a new career adventure. I got nothing against the management team and I know that the sign is too strong but the main message is about the exodus, an event when the Israelites went out of Egypt, and coincidently, a name that we thought of when we start sharing stories of how demotivated we are. I still have friends inside the operations and I’m still wishing that we can share something that I found, a new chance of happiness that will bring great changes in our lives. Thing like getting scared of the changes that might happen, the changes in my lifestyle pattern that I need to identify and set my mind to recalibrate to keep up with the new changes. Overthinking about situations like how to let new colleagues enter my life and hoping that they have some similarities with me, requirements that need to be processed, and other things to get ready for the jump.
One of the things that I can’t believe that I will leave is my small project inside the operations, The Agents Hub, an opportunity that was offered years ago, I can still remember when I started the 1st few lines of code and the time that I did a demonstration where I can still remember the errors that I’ve encountered that time. I started to check my folder where and run the software once again, I always code at home before I do the updated inside the operation so that both versions are in sync since I’m not allowed to bring whatever’s inside out and so what I do is to memorize the codes and run some series of test before I apply the codes inside the operations and I know that it’s difficult somehow but I have to make sure that the data inside the operation is secured and I myself don’t have that data outside where all I have are just the source code that about its structure. It’s too bad that I still have plans for this project but I need to leave this behind so that I can find something that can make me better as a person. I believe that anyone can fix the hub’s issue if there’s any problem at some point since the requirements are not that difficult to set up, though I made a lot of funny source code traps just to make sure that no one can just tamper it and grab the credits, I can still assure that this will work for a long time and I also made sure that the issues are something can be fixed without modifying any snippets in its source code. I believe that I did most things that need to be handled that I should have the confidence to leave it but I’m still having these thoughts why can’t I just leave it and move on, perhaps there are other things that I need to check, maybe this is not one of those.
I just love viewing this pop up most of the time before I start my shift, it reminds me that I got the chance to make something that helps the operations somehow, a single tool dashboard that covers most of every agent needed. I wanted to do more like this, innovations with strong support from the team and not just some empty words without any action. I hope those sad thoughts like this inside my mind of leaving this project will inspire for the next opportunity that I will encounter soon and I hope that there’s a place for me to apply whatever’s inside my imagination, or maybe a place where I can be a part of someone’s imagination with a goal to create something new, to make the employees enjoy work and make their workload lighter. I want to start from a place who will experience the process 1st hand so that I can fully understand the process and so that way I along with the others who have the same goal as me can create something that’s tailored for that process.
My thoughts about this are kinda vague but hopefully, it gets clearer as soon as I started the jump. Maybe I just need to go 1st and share whatever happiness that we will have to those who are down, a sacrifice that needs to endure for a brighter future, that someday, those who’re inside the exodus will experience the same happiness that we will find.