I forgot to include this one from my last log, and yup I got her number and I don’t know exactly what to do, maybe I’ll just face my fear of the unknown, I can say something mystical that I need to unfold, maybe. I started to send some generic messages and most of it is work-related matters.
I tried to speak with her in a normal way, I mean a way that I didn’t creep her out, well maybe but she’s not just saying anything about it. I just hate also the fact that I can’t predict whatever what she was thinking, that I’m not cautious on every word that I’m saying; an as an observation having these signs might get me into trouble, that I might start asking more questions.
Another was, I noticed that I’m not laughing in a way that I just want to laugh to release a day of stress, she moves like a cartoon character and she always talks about funny things that I don’t even care what was it all about; that all I know was I can feel some sort of happiness that I’m not sure of; for just some moments I forgot some of my rules, that’s all I have in mind was something happy without any solid reason behind
I used to hate the fact that I’m going into something without thinking but this …. I don’t know maybe I can get some explanation someday if she survived, no one ever survived that kind of her work at that kind of pressurized working environment before….keeping my words safe